” Direct your children onto the right path; and when they are older, they will not leave it. ” Proverbs 22: 6
As a mother of 2 special needs children I do face difficulties in child rearing. It’s very easy for us as mothers to not only become critical of ourselves in this area, but to let ourselves become overwhelmed. Our love for our children is so strong sometimes that we let our emotions take over what we should be giving to the Lord.
The past couple of months my oldest son who is high functioning autistic has been having behavioral problems at school. He’s even been starting to say cuss words and things that I was in shock to hear of. My first instinct was to become overwhelmed with fear. My fear that I’m not doing enough, that I should be teaching him better. After all I am a woman of God and my children should be doing the walk of Christ with me. What am I doing wrong, how can I fix this? These are the thoughts that first come into my head. Our sinful loving mothering hearts want to put the blame on ourselves. Instead of blaming we should be realizing that we cannot control what happens to our children outside of our homes at all times. They will hear things that we cannot be responsible for. They will do things that are not perfect and definitely not Christ-like. But don’t we too as parents, women and Christians do the same thing? Do we not constantly make mistakes?
The difference is that we are aware of what we are doing and we know that to change ourselves we bring our worries and troubles to the Lord.
“Come and listen to my counsel. I’ll share my heart with you and make you wise.” Proverbs 1:23
Our children do not know this. They need to be led to the Lord, they need our love and direction to know that the Lord will help them in any situation and give them the love and support they need for the world we live in. God has entrusted us to raise these children in His word. That’s all we can do. We follow Him and lead our children in His word and we are doing what God asks of us.
“Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Matthew 19:14
So I hope you can read this knowing that you are not alone in this guilt we feel as mothers. That you feel more led and encouraged to help your children realize that there’s a Lord that will always be there for them, love them, and forgives all things. If your children are older and already know this then I hope you’re encouraged to continue this leadership in your family. It truly is a gift the Lord has given us to raise up our children in His name.
Is there anything that you struggle with as a mother? Do you too find that you get wrapped up in the world around us and the sin in it? I’d love to hear from you.
About Leigh Dusek
Sweet Leigh – your heart shines through your words! I want to thank you for the Scriptures you shared today. The Proverbs one is one that I know I can use in a situation I’m dealing with with one of my children currently. Thank you! And yes, I too struggle with issues as a mom and I continue to pray that the Lord will help me with them so I can help my children become the people the Lord wants them to be. You’re a great mom, I’m sure!
Thanks for sharing with us today!
Thank you Susan! That’s so sweet!
Leigh, This post is beautiful. Your last sentence brought tears to this many time weary mom — It truly is a gift the Lord has given us to raise up our children in His name — those words of yours are beautiful. It is easy to get stuck in the grind, the to-do list, the aggravations and lose sight of the gift that we are given as mothers. And even more important the gift of teaching our children about Jesus.
I am blessed by you.
Thanks Rachel, your words are usually the ones that are touching me. Thank you so much. I’m happy that my words from the Lord could remind you of what’s already in your heart. Much love~ xo
Oh, this is so true and I was just thinking about this earlier during my QT. I know so many of my friends can use this encouragement so I’m going to pass it along. Thanks.
Good advice Leigh! Thank you for sharing!
How wonderful! Thank you for pointing out that instead of blaming ourselves, we should be using those opportunities to lead our children to Him! Thank you!
Oh bless you, Leigh. I was just talking with my Sister-in Law on the phone about the heaps of ‘mommy guit’ we burry ourselves under and how when we do this, we stiffle the Holy Spiti’s work in our lives. I was just saying to her how our main mission as mothers is to love them and always, Always point them to Christ. You said it so well here. Thank you for this confirmation and encouragement of what I just finished talking about. God is so good!!
Thank you all.
Kris, yes, our Mommy Guilt consumes us until we turn to him and release it. I’m glad that my words could encourage you. xo
Dear Leigh,
You asked if there were anything I struggle with as a mother – my list is so long, but here are some of the highlights. Am I spending enough time with the children? Do I tell them how much I love them enough? Do I spoil them with my love? Do I read to them enough or help them with their homework enough? Should I let them have a little more freedom, like cracking the eggs to make pancakes? You get the idea. But your post has made me breathe a little easier. I’m not the only one who feels guilty about her mothering skills. The scripture passages you quote have spoken to my heart, just like the “Power of a Praying Parent” blurbs that I read each day. I am well aware of the tremendous gifts the Lord has entrusted to me in my children. As His daughter, I must work to make sure that He is not disappointed (even though I know He would forgive me). Bless you and your wonderful family – it doesn’t seem to me like you should feel guilty at all. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if, for one day, all moms could banish guilt from our vocabulary?!
Blessings,
Erin
Erin, thank you for sharing. I too ask myself a lot of the same questions. Since we cannot change the past, I just look at what I can do in each moment with my child. Can I take an extra couple of minutes to let the kids each add and egg and each get a turn stirring while baking? Can I snuggle with one of them at a time and read them each their own choice of book rather than a twitter party? Can I go to bed early tonight missing my favorite show to be well rested for a full day with them? These are all things I ask myself almost daily and have to chose wisely. I know it’s hard as all of us moms do, which is why this community is here for support.
I’m glad that the Lord used his words through me to touch you. That’s a blessing to me as well.
Also you mentioned that in raising your children you must make sure the Lord isn’t disappointed. This is true, but do not put pressure on yourself. It’s a blessing and you can only do what you can with the Lords strength. I pray that you will believe this for yourself.
xo, Leigh
My guilt as a mother is coming now that my kids are moving on and moving out. I find myself examining how I raised them, how much time I spent with them, and continually wishing I had done more.
Oh boy. I struggled with post partum depression after my second and hubby and I went through a very rocky time. God has been so good and I am trying to come through on the other side of all this, I battle guilt not about what my kids see outside of the home, but rather what they saw in their home. I am so thankful for God’s grace and longsuffering. And I am thankful for the grace He extends to my young boys. Thak you for this post.
This was timely for me:
“Our children do not know this. They need to be led to the Lord, they need our love and direction to know that the Lord will help them in any situation and give them the love and support they need for the world we live in”
Thank you for a reminder that my heart needed! Blessings!
amen. what a high calling we have. Lord Jesus, help me! <3 Traci
You have really hit the nail on the head, Leigh. It’s so easy for us to become lost in our struggles rather than always looking to the victory that is ours in Christ–the one who takes away our guilt and who can give us peace even in the midst of our most difficult times. Thank you for being such an encouragement!