I stared at myself in the mirror and didn’t like the person I saw. My eyes were tired, brows furrowed with the accompanying lines. I didn’t recognize the tightened expression on my face.
How did I go from joyful and bubbly to stressed and tired?
Just a few months before, I was filled with joy at pursuing my dream. I took the steps I needed to and it was finally in motion. “She” shared her insightful wisdom with me that if I was on the path God had for me, things might get crazy. My life went “nuts”! Goodbye awesome family rhythm…the flow of creativity was stifled.
I was okay with the slow progress of my dream…at first. After a few months went by though, I started to lose it! I blamed the delay of finishing our home. Not getting enough help. Then, not getting enough rest. On to, “No one is supporting me.” I even blamed the dog! I blamed my husband, David.
When I took my eyes off the true source of my dreams, I caused His dreams in me to fizzle and blur. I lost focus of the gifts in the people he placed around me. The dream inside me was no longer His gift, but mine “to do.”
When I looked at myself in the mirror, I saw I’d lost the true motivation for pursuing my dream. Everything became a struggle. Creating became a struggle.
Where was God in all this? Where was the joy? Where was the love?
I’d forgotten to invite God into my everyday.
I recalled her godly words, “Jeri, just follow the joy. That’s what God’s saying to you. Follow the joy.”
I knelt, prayed, and got quiet. Then, Jesus gently turned me around. No beating on the head. No harsh words. No cold shoulder. It didn’t take too long for Him to God-center me.
Every day since then, it’s been about gentleness. To gently linger with Him often. He gently nudges when I’m ready to lose it. He gently reminds to pause when I’ve already lost it. How gently His love soothes my heart when I feel the failure. The more I let Him breathe gentleness into my soul, I am able to slow down.
It’s a daily process. Gracious and gentle. Many moments I’ve looked to myself and experienced the chaos. Soon as I feel His nudge and I stop, pause, and get quiet again.
My gracious family…
How quickly they forgive when I apologize. Free hugs too!
Grace when I feel overwhelmed and ask for a hug.
Grace when I need to talk it through.
Grace when they take my hand and say nothing while their faces empathize.
No need for perfection here. They love that I’m humanly imperfect.
No need for wonder woman. They want to help out so I have time for my dreams.
No need to force my creativity. Give time to it and let it flow.
The need for time together ~ sitting, laughing, talking, sharing.
The need to remember they have dreams too.
The need for consistent apologies and gentle change.
The highest need — look to Him…look up…look into His word.
This is where the grace, gentleness, and joy is found. So I keep learning to follow the joy and linger there.
Psalm 19:13 ~ Keep me from my stupid sins,
from thinking I can take over your work.
Lamentations 3:28-30 ~ When life is heavy and hard to take,
go off by yourself. Enter the silence.
Bow in prayer. Don’t ask questions:
Wait for hope to appear.
Jeri
Blessed wife, Mom of two forgiving adult sons and beautiful daughter-in-law. New Yaya (grandma)! Pet parent too. Unwrapping God’s simple joys in life and at my blog home God’s Dreams For Me in My Everyday.
It seems like when I put God first, then everything else falls into place. I’m not saying I’m perfect at it. My dedication comes and goes, but I know he still loves me. When I start my day with prayer and scripture, the other things aren’t as stressful or frazzled, by His grace I am able to handle.
Especially in our imperfections, He continues loves us. I like that. Thanks Lisa.
“When I took my eyes off the true source of my dreams, I caused His dreams in me to fizzle and blur. I lost focus of the gifts in the people he placed around me. The dream inside me was no longer His gift, but mine “to do.””
Jeri, I think this may be why I’m feeling frazzled myself. I forget my dreams are dreams He has placed in me. Thank you!!
*hugs*
Hi there sweet friend. Today, I just read in Emily Freeman’s book Grace For the Good Girl about letting Jesus be who He is in and through me rather than trying to be more like Him. Why does it always land back on “to do?” The letting gives permission to linger and just be.
“To gentle linger with Him often”. This is something I need to do. There are some areas in my life that I am struggling with. And I haven’t felt God’s presence there because I’ve slammed the door shut. I am going to invite Him in!
Barbie, you go girl! Let Him in. You’ve totally encouraged me with your comment.
This was awesome. Thanks for the gentle reminder, too
Yes, I struggle to keep God at the center of everything I do, too…especially when I’m pursuing a dream/passion of mine 
Love and hugs from the ocean shores of California, Heather 
Hi Heather. I’m so thankful and relieved that He loves us in that struggle. Just a whisper of “help me” and He’s there in a nano second. That’s a reminder for myself too.
BTW, I love your sign off. Thank you.
Beautiful post! Thank you for that reminder on gentleness. I need that.
So nice to meet you here at SIB!
Blessings,
Cyndi
You’re welcome. Nice to meet you too Cyndi.
Hello Jeri!
You’ve given us such a wonderful reminder that God is the author of our dreams and He wants to be a part of our lives in a very special and real way. So wonderful to see your beautiful smiling face here at SIB!
Blessings, Susan
Susan, it was wonderful to correspond with you for this. Can’t help but smile when I’m here. You’ve blessed me.
Lovely words and a gentle reminder to always put God first.
God bless you’re adventures with God, Lori.
“I had forgotten to invite God into my everyday.”
thank you for this sweet post. love your heart and honesty.
follow the joy…..thinking on this today!
Hi Stacey! Following the joy with you
)
Dear Jeri,
Your Lamentations quote is exactly what I need during this time in my life. Thank you for opening my eyes so I can open my heart more to Him. I have relied on Him for many, many months now and am ready now to find out what His dream for me is. I shall indeed go off by myself and wait – He will listen and, in some form, answer. Thank you for your honest, truthful post.
Blessings,
Erin
Erin, I’m so thankful you found more of Him here today. Blessings to you too.
Hi Sweetie. Thanks for having the strength to be weak in His molding hands… and allowing the masterpiece in making to be displayed and appreciated by all. Luv ya. =0)
aw shucks Honey. You have so much of His grace in you for me. Where would you and I be without Him.
Dear friend- Jeri- I am so thankful for your post today. It is a gentle reminder for me today to focus and center in on God. Thank you dear friend for sharing your own struggle to encourage me in mine. Love you!
Hi Katie! So much grace and encouragement from Him. You’ve been an encouragement. God’s love to you too.
Thank you Jeri for sharing today at Sisters In Bloom. This is a wonderful reminder for us all.
Blessings to you.
Denise what a privilege and pleasure to give and receive life-words here at SIB. You’ve all gone out of your way to make me feel so welcome here. God’s love is surely given freely here. Off to make a soy latte and lounge now.
Thank you for showing us a glimpse into your heart, Jeri….so beautiful! I can relate to so much of what you shared. What a perfect reminder of His gentleness when He turns us around…back to Him. So glad you are here!
Thank you for this Jeri!
Having Him in my heart brings me the peace that I need.
All good things!