In a perfect world friendships would not die. Unfortunately, we don’t live in a perfect world.

Over the course of my adult life, I have had many friendships; some close, some mere acquaintances, but all were important to me. I can count on one hand the number of friendships that have ended badly.

When I say ended, I don’t mean one of us moves away and we are no longer close. I mean we part ways and are no longer friends. There are three broken friendships in my past that still cause heartache. I’m guessing I am not the only one who has experienced this painful wounding.

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The first was a friendship from 20 years ago. She was older than I, but we were tight. We attended the same church, vacationed together, chatted almost daily and shared meals a few times a week. She knew my secrets and I knew hers. We cried together over boyfriend problems and laughed together over just about anything.

She began to explore New Age practices and thoughts. That bothered me. I prayed about what my response should be. Mind you, I was not living a life that shined for Christ at that time, but the Holy Spirit would not let me be comfortable with the path she was choosing.

I talked to her about the dangers of the road she was walking, but she did not appreciate my concern. Perhaps it came across as condemnation. She cursed at me and told me to mind my own business, then walked out of my life and the friendship was severed. My heart was badly hurt. It would be a long time before I shared myself so deeply with another girlfriend.

More recently, there were two friends who were part of a Bible study group I attend. I was not as close to either of these two ladies as the one 20 years prior, but still there were heart ties. These were godly women who were an important part of my life.

Then something beyond my control came between one of these friends and me. I knew the death of the friendship was inevitable because of the circumstance.  She cut off communication except polite hellos in public. My heart hurt. Her daughter got married recently and I wanted to be there, but did not receive an invitation, which caused my heart further hurt.

The other woman…I still have no idea why the friendship died, which makes it particularly difficult. She stopped participating in Bible study or anything else in which I was involved, including church. I asked her what happened; had I done something to offend her? Her guarded response was, “No. Everything is fine.” That’s it. But I know everything is not fine and my heart aches over the death of this friendship.

So, what do you and I do with the hurt of a fractured friendship?  We run straight to Jesus with it. His Word says in Psalm 56:8 that He collects all our tears, and so I trust He understands my hurt. His Word says He understands the sting of broken relationships for His friends rejected Him, so I trust He understands my pain.

His Word promises that one day all will be made right, so I trust Him to make good on that promise. Until then, I ask Him to either heal these broken friendships or give me the grace to let go and allow Him to heal the wounds that remain.

Fixing my eyes on Jesus and running to Him with my hurt…it’s all I can do. It’s enough. He is more than enough.

Speaker and author Leah Adams is the founder of The Point Ministries. Her passion is for others to understand the grace and second chances offered by Jesus to all who ask. She is a CLASS certified speaker and the author of From the Trash Pile to the Treasure Chest: Creating a Godly Legacy Bible study.

 

 

Do you remember singing this song: Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so?

Do you think you believed it then? Are you willing to believe it now?

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It wasn’t easy accepting it as a child; even my ‘innocent’ mind could not fathom this truth.  It’s even harder to accept it now that I’m older and I know what I’ve done.

“Oh, you don’t know the life I’ve lived.”

This is usually what we say when we try to use our distorted view of love to prove God’s love for us.  His love is because of who He is, not because of who we are.

And when we are willing to cling to His love, we will be willing to leave who we are/were behind and love Him too.  We need to always remember that we are loved.  We don’t need to sit and hang our heads in shame; we are loved.

We don’t need to try to make ourselves better—we can’t, but He can—and we are loved.

We are always the Bride, never the bridesmaid.

Say it with me and make every moment count.

Say it… I AM LOVED! (John 15:9)

Oh how is His unfailing love… (Psalm 36:7)

I am my Beloved’s and He is mine… (Song of Solomon 6:3)

I am His chosen vessel… (1 Peter 2:9)

I am loved and He died for me. Yes, me! (Romans 5:8)

You might blush or giggle.  It may very well make you laugh.  For some of you though, the tears will start to make their way down your cheeks as your emotions try to grasp this truth.

And when your emotions don’t want to follow suit, submit the lies to God.  Leave them right there at His feet.  Don’t pick them back up whenever you start to feel guilty.  Leave them right there and cleave to His truth that you are loved.

There is absolutely nothing that can separate us from the love of Christ (Romans 8:35-39).  Don’t pull away from Him.

I realized just recently that because of the abuse I suffered in my relationships, I would hide from God when I was about to be disciplined.  God allowed me to see that His discipline is love (Hebrews 12:9-10).

I’m not being abused; I’m being loved.

Wherever your ‘love wound’ is, He wants to touch it.  It doesn’t matter if it happened at age 2 or 60.  It doesn’t matter when it happened.  It doesn’t matter how it happened.  If it happened, He wants to heal it and bring you into His love.

We don’t need to pick petals off a flower repeating “He loves me, He loves me not” to know if God truly loves us.  We only need to look right there in the mirror—we were made in His image (Genesis 1:27).

We only need to look around us—the whole earth is filled with His glory (Isaiah 6:3).

We only need to look up—the heavens declare His righteousness (Psalm 97:6).

We only need to look to His cross—Jesus died for us (Romans 5:8).  He loves us to death and right back to life again.

He loves us completely!

Oh, how He longs for us to comprehend the truth that we are loved completely and unconditionally.  We are loved because of who He is.  We are loved because He is eternally good.

Scream it right now if you have to, but just never forget it—Yes, Jesus loves me for the Bible tells me so.

I love Jesus, funny stories, a good book and maxi dresses. It’s true! I’m still learning to appreciate the many delays I experience in God–His patience builders. The Holy Spirit, or HS as I call Him, is helping me to enjoy, learn from and dive into this adventure-filled walk of faith.  As He lovingly puts it, I’m taking a walk along His scenic route…In The Cool Of The Day. Oh, and I’m His travel writer too.

You can find Roxann over at In The Cool of the Day.

Do you ever feel like your efforts to encourage a friend fall on deaf ears?  You’ve done everything you know to do to help her get through her trial, yet here she is stuck fast in the depths of one all-consuming mess.

Sweet friend, if you’ve been placed in the role to encourage, please take a minute to rest and receive some encouragement of your own from God’s Word.

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In Mark 2:1-12, God was sure to include an invaluable recollection of the efforts of four faithful friends.  These four men were called to encourage a friend who was paralyzed.

Do you have a friend who is paralyzed by something?  Fear, physical ailments, financial distress, unrest in the family – whatever may be tying her down instead of walking freely through life with peace from God, you know it well.

You’ve tried to be there in every way possible.  You’ve listened; you’ve sent cards, yet this poor, sick friend just isn’t any closer to moving out of her mess.

I imagine these four amigos were exhausted by similar demands of helping their disabled friend.  They had to literally carry him around, and that would undoubtedly be taxing.  So they decided if they were going to continue to carry him, they might as well haul him right to the feet of Jesus.

No more sitting, watching, and listening to the man wallow in his misery – he needed Jesus, and he obviously wasn’t getting Him where he sat each day.

Talk about an intervention. They recognized that they had done all that was in their power, so off they went to the crowded house where Jesus was teaching.  They recognized the seriousness of their friend’s condition, and nothing was going to prevent them from doing their part to point this hurting friend to Jesus.

They didn’t care who was watching or what others would think.  They undoubtedly got dirty and cut up in the process, but they kept working.  They hefted their friend right up on that roof and clawed their way in so they could hand this friend in need over to Jesus.

Don’t miss the mind-blowing point of this story like I did until my pastor pointed it out recently. Pay careful attention to what moved Jesus to respond.

“And when Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, ‘Son, your sins are forgiven.’” Mark 2:5

Jesus was moved to action by the faith He saw in the man’s friends.  It wasn’t the pathetic state of need in which the paralytic helplessly sat.  The Bible doesn’t even say that the paralytic man said anything at all to Jesus.

Isn’t that about right?  When someone is genuinely paralyzed by depression, sin, or circumstances, she generally isn’t at a place where she can talk to God as she wants to.

Jesus knew that, so He chose to look past this inability and instead honored the faith of the man’s friends.

Did you catch that, weary encourager? 

God honors the faithfulness of friends.

When you feel like you’re getting nowhere, keep pushing for the sake of this friend you love so much.  She needs to see faith in God lived out in you.  She needs someone to break down the barriers that are between her and the Source of her salvation.

She needs you to carry her just a bit further to the place where she can’t help but see Jesus.  He’ll take over from there.

Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord. 1 Corinthians 15:58

Kelly is a high school teacher turned stay-at-home mom to an adventurous little boy and wife to a God-fearing, life-loving husband. You can join her at her blog, Exceptionally Average, where she hopes to encourage other women to embrace their identities in Christ and connect with women on the same journey as her – a journey to find joy in the simple, balance in life’s craziness, and urgency to live out God’s call for her life.

 

From my earliest memories, I have always had fear in my life and it has often been a struggle to find a way out of that past.  Yet, through looking into the Word, God has provided the answers to me.  There is an answer in the Bible for any problem you face.

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I am not sure where the fear came from or why it began, but I believe that through that part of my life, I am able to have compassion and lead others to the One who can heal and give you peace…God.

Our Lord is the only one who allows us to struggle and from those struggles we are able to use those trials to testify to all God has done for us and through us by HIS power.

Fear is the opposite of faith.  I know.  I know.

I have been told repeatedly by the naysayers that I must not have faith if I have fear.

Ouch…. that hurts.

I didn’t know that being a Christian and having a relationship with Christ means you never have problems.  Really?  Are we that shallow and smug about our God that we have this lofty idea that we are to be “perfect”?  I am far from perfect.

I believe that I am no different from any other Christian other than the reality that fear has always been a “thorn” for me.

What is your struggle or “thorn”?  Paul mentioned a “thorn” in his flesh in 2 Corinthians 12:7.  Some believe that this was a physical or emotional ailment, but regardless of which it was, Paul reminds us that God used that thorn in his side for His glory.

I seem to remember in the Bible that there are many other “faithful” men and women, besides Paul, who struggled with questions about their faith, what God had called them to do or be, or personal struggles in their own lives.

Does that mean that those men and women were not faithful?  No, that means we are all fallible and we all have struggles, whether it is fear, worry, relationships, or another aspect of our lives.

God designed the human race exactly as we are.  There is nothing wrong with struggling in areas such as fear.  What is wrong is allowing that fear to become a stronghold in our lives or when we stop enjoying the life God sent His Son to die on the cross for; the life that is to be abundant according to John 10:10.

Each day is a gift so live it to the fullest regardless of the struggles you may be experiencing.   John 15:11

Struggles make us human – having struggles doesn’t mean we lack faith.

Also, let us not project an old fear on a new day.   Each day is exactly the way God planned it to be and we are given the power, love and sound mind to handle whatever we face, according to 2 Timothy 1:7.

Each day, whether you are facing fear or some other issue, God has already given the believer the power, love and sound mind to choose the correct course and to be capable to handle whatever comes our way, with God’s help.

Angie

Angie is an avid book lover, writer and lover of Jesus Christ. Her first love is always God and Jesus, then her family and then her career. She’s been married to her husband Mike for 28 years. She loves to lead others to the freedom that God freely gives when we lay all of our trials, hurts and fears at the feet of Jesus. She began writing her blog after struggling with agoraphobia and being homebound for awhile due to several suicides and a murder in her family. Healing is possible. You can find her at Joyful Journey Newsletter.

We were stuck at home all day on a rainy Saturday. No real plans, just a family day at home.

Running through my mind were all those blogs that talk about their blissfully perfect family time where they all laugh in joyous harmony together as they play games and make cookies.

As soon as my feet hit the floor that morning I was excited about a “perfect” family day together.

Our day started with a few errands, only to realize my car had a flat tire. My husband was stuck having to fix that while the kids and I took his car on our errands.

Then the rain started.

We made it home soaking wet but still in bright spirits. It would be a perfect day!

I put on the “supermom” hat and created a makeshift fort for the kids. We turned out the lights, brought out the flashlights and roasted marshmallows in the toaster oven.

I had in my mind that this would be all day entertainment and the kids would talk for days about the fun they had.

Unfortunately my bright idea was only fun for about 15 minutes.

The rest of the day was full of extremely stir-crazy children, futile efforts to clean, a broken glass on the tile floor, and of course, the flat tire.

Why is this perfect day making me want to run away screaming??

My plan of a perfect day did not turn out at all as I had hoped. But as I take a step back and examine it closer maybe my idea of perfect was wrong…

The flat tire was aggravating but at least we have a car. In fact we have two cars, which made my errands still possible!

The rain will soon make the spring flowers burst into color.

Our two year old tried to wear shoes 4 sizes too big around the house and made us all laugh as she clumsily walked around.

In the midst of the crazy afternoon when our kids were driving me bananas our four year old yells out (while I am doing laundry) “Mom, you are my very best friend.”

And I almost forgot the fabulous idea my husband had to take everyone out for ice cream after dinner!

There are moments of perfection every day. These precious nuggets can be so easily overlooked. The bad can easily outweigh the good yet we are the ones who read the scale.

Sure there are moments when we want to pull our hair out and buy a one way ticket to Tahiti but there are also moments of pure perfection.

Father I pray for Your eyes to see the precious gifts you give in everyday situations. Even in the mess and chaos of life there are moments of pure perfection all around me.

May my eyes look away from the messes and concentrate more on the blessings.

Have you had a moment of perfection today?

Katie loves to learn about living frugally so she and her family can give generously and seeing imperfect people (including herself) through God’s perfect eyes. Katie writes at Imperfect People in Love with a Perfect God.

I will be glad and rejoice in you;
I will sing the praises of your name, O Most High. Psalm 9:2

I’m sure some people question how I can smile, even laugh, after suffering a loss like I have. Perhaps others shake their heads, puzzled at how I can write daily focused on the topic of JOY. Honestly, I remember a time when I was there with them.

After losing my fourteen-year-old son, so suddenly and without reason, I questioned everything. I asked God why. I wondered if my prayers, said with such hope and heartache, were even heard. Looking at the shell that was my family, I doubted whether we could find healing and if this would destroy us.

Though I felt many emotions that first year of our grief journey, the one constant was peace. I remember standing behind my crumbling husband, my younger son sobbing in the distance, and praying for peace to get us through those painful first days. I prayed for peace upon leaving the hospital…before we arrived at the funeral home…so many, many times.

And each time, without fail, peace arrived. It washed over us; cast a veil of protection to get us to the next hurdle. That peace was God – and the only explanation I could give when others would question how we were “holding up” through it all.

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7

I recall the first time we laughed, after Austin’s passing, and how it took us by surprise. Should we feel guilty? Was it too early? We were planning his services and someone recalled a funny story of him. Was it ok for laughter to be in the midst of such sorrow? It was something I struggled with for many months. Laughter was rare in the beginning, as anger and raw pain took over, but in time I began to treasure it.

It was nearly two years before I was at a point of choosing joy. I realized that this pain from losing a child would never end. There would never be a day I didn’t miss him, long to have my son back with us, or even cry. But I couldn’t face the rest of my days with nothing but darkness and grief. I had to seek out joy; I needed hope. It was the only way for me to begin to heal.

With God’s help, guidance, and strength I am in a place now I never imagined. Now, I cherish and recognize each and every small and simple joyful moment of this life. I focus on the positive. I see the silver lining. Yes, clouds still come. Sometimes even rain. Downpours, in fact.

But through Him, I know I can do all things. I know he holds me on days I can’t walk. He pushes me when I need it too. And with every step forward, I can’t help but believe that my son is also shining down proudly and waiting for the days until we are together again.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace, as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

Heather Blair: In 2008, my world as I knew it changed forever, with the sudden loss of our 14 year old son, Austin. The journey to this blog, Finding Joy in Every Day, (and my attitude towards life) was bumpy and tearful. At some point, I chose to take another path, challenging myself to find the JOY in every day, despite the sadness I still felt. While I’ll never forget Austin, I know this is something he would want for me. I love and miss him daily but I’m living my life to honor him – and celebrating every moment it brings. My goal…to find and share the joy in every day. Childhood memories, faith, family, being a mom, raising kids, and loving my husband are all topics I enjoy sharing, as well as finding the joy in every day.