In a perfect world friendships would not die. Unfortunately, we don’t live in a perfect world.
Over the course of my adult life, I have had many friendships; some close, some mere acquaintances, but all were important to me. I can count on one hand the number of friendships that have ended badly.
When I say ended, I don’t mean one of us moves away and we are no longer close. I mean we part ways and are no longer friends. There are three broken friendships in my past that still cause heartache. I’m guessing I am not the only one who has experienced this painful wounding.
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The first was a friendship from 20 years ago. She was older than I, but we were tight. We attended the same church, vacationed together, chatted almost daily and shared meals a few times a week. She knew my secrets and I knew hers. We cried together over boyfriend problems and laughed together over just about anything.
She began to explore New Age practices and thoughts. That bothered me. I prayed about what my response should be. Mind you, I was not living a life that shined for Christ at that time, but the Holy Spirit would not let me be comfortable with the path she was choosing.
I talked to her about the dangers of the road she was walking, but she did not appreciate my concern. Perhaps it came across as condemnation. She cursed at me and told me to mind my own business, then walked out of my life and the friendship was severed. My heart was badly hurt. It would be a long time before I shared myself so deeply with another girlfriend.
More recently, there were two friends who were part of a Bible study group I attend. I was not as close to either of these two ladies as the one 20 years prior, but still there were heart ties. These were godly women who were an important part of my life.
Then something beyond my control came between one of these friends and me. I knew the death of the friendship was inevitable because of the circumstance. She cut off communication except polite hellos in public. My heart hurt. Her daughter got married recently and I wanted to be there, but did not receive an invitation, which caused my heart further hurt.
The other woman…I still have no idea why the friendship died, which makes it particularly difficult. She stopped participating in Bible study or anything else in which I was involved, including church. I asked her what happened; had I done something to offend her? Her guarded response was, “No. Everything is fine.” That’s it. But I know everything is not fine and my heart aches over the death of this friendship.
So, what do you and I do with the hurt of a fractured friendship? We run straight to Jesus with it. His Word says in Psalm 56:8 that He collects all our tears, and so I trust He understands my hurt. His Word says He understands the sting of broken relationships for His friends rejected Him, so I trust He understands my pain.
His Word promises that one day all will be made right, so I trust Him to make good on that promise. Until then, I ask Him to either heal these broken friendships or give me the grace to let go and allow Him to heal the wounds that remain.
Fixing my eyes on Jesus and running to Him with my hurt…it’s all I can do. It’s enough. He is more than enough.
Speaker and author Leah Adams is the founder of The Point Ministries. Her passion is for others to understand the grace and second chances offered by Jesus to all who ask. She is a CLASS certified speaker and the author of From the Trash Pile to the Treasure Chest: Creating a Godly Legacy Bible study.
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