Sisters In Christ

Sisters

April 30, 2012 By Misty Krasawski 14 Comments

Sisters, sisters there were never such devoted sisters … “Sisters,” by Irving Berlin

Right now, my sister and I are out of step.

Divided by three short years, seven large states and a few opposing philosophies, we’ve fallen into a mutual habit of neglect.

“Do not forsake your own friend or your father’s friend, And do not go to your brother’s house in the day of your calamity; Better is a neighbor who is near than a brother far away.” ~ Prov. 27:10

It’s true, right? The girls I see at church, the ladies who come to my house once a month for book club, even the ones I interact with online all feel closer most of the time than the one I spent 14 years sleeping next to.

I don’t really think that makes God smile. Which makes me think I should probably give her a call.

But will I?

The truth is, I’m relationally lazy. A born introvert with an insecure streak, I put on a brave face in a crowd but honestly prefer to spend much of my time alone. Don’t get me wrong—I love people; love to be with them, love to talk and have tea and discuss issues and worship and learn together. But I need my space. I need to regain the energy expended in the crowd; regroup my nerves, rewind the conversations.

I’ve learned over the years that that’s okay. God wired us all differently. It becomes a problem when I avoid people and start leaning into my hermit-ness.

God knows the truth: He knows that I need sisters.

“It is not good for the man to be alone.” Genesis 2:18.

Truth is, it’s not so great for the woman, either. And we know it, don’t we? We band together on playgrounds and in bathroom lines. We make phone calls and drag one another to the mall for moral support while we pick out the dress, and giggle in corners together at the dance. I’m forty-two years old and have yet to attend a movie alone.

Things are just better with a sister.

So here’s the thing: you need one. You actually need more than one. I believe God calls us all to real-life relationships with people we can touch. And if you don’t have any sisters, it’s time to do something about it.

Neighbors, book club pals, fellow soccer moms, Bible study companions … all have the potential to become more than acquaintances: they can become true sisters in Christ. You need someone to bring you chicken soup when you’re down for the count, someone to bare your soul to over a caramel mocha, someone to drive your daughter to ballet when your car breaks down. And you need some women you can be “someone” for, too. Maybe even more than you need someone to be “someone” for you.

May I challenge you, sweet friend? Pray for the Lord to open your eyes. Then, take a look around. Who could you become a sister to?

Now, please excuse me. I have a phone call to make.

Filed Under: Sisterhood, Sisters In Christ

When You’ve Run Dry

April 11, 2012 By Ashlie Oestreich 36 Comments

Sometimes, it’s all I can do just to show up.

My days are often packed to the brim, even if half of it is just the lists and expectations inside my head to do it all.

I glance around the table, and there is that awkward half-second where I’m not sure where to sit, or where I’d feel the most welcome. I’m not sure why, because I’ve known these girls for what seems like a long time, and shouldn’t we all be able to let down our hair and feel comfy without an introduction?

But, it’s been a while. Too long.

Our fingers wrap around steaming mugs, and we trade stories. The air is light, but really – I want to go deep. I don’t always know how to get there, but my soul craves it. Not just a rundown of the latest sale or the best recipe. No, I’m empty, tired, and worn thin. I’ve been pouring out much longer than my meager supply gives, and I’m bone dry. My heart feels the drought, and I pray for rain.

I’ve both looked forward to and dreaded this all day because I know how much I need it, it makes me cry to feel the loneliness in a crowd. And yet I dread it because it scares me to death. I don’t want to disappoint, and I don’t to leave disappointed. I want to reach out to others, and I need a hand to grasp mine, too – but somehow reaching that short distance across the table becomes miles long and my heart doesn’t have the strength. It’s just easier to sit back, and be comfy in my shell. To smile, nod, laugh at all the right times, and say, “I’m good, how about you?”

The coffee shop ambience envelopes us. We talk about church, and showing God’s love to the needy. Ideas for outreach and missionary trips. Good stuff, really and truly, because those things are important.

There is a lull in the conversation, and the echo of hearts beating dry and thirsty becomes loud. We all know it. We’ve seen it in each other’s eyes, but our insecurities hold us back from joining hands. Somehow in our Christian walk we’ve been fooled into thinking that showing weakness or emotion equates lack of faith and immaturity.

She swallows hard, takes a deep breath, and speaks soft and brave,

“You know, I love all of you, and I know you love me, but do we really know each other? Do we know what’s going on? Do we know how we hurt? We’re sitting here talking about how to love one another and help those in need. Well, I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m just as needy as anyone we might hope to reach out to.”

Thud. The walls begin to fall fast.

Tension releases, shoulders sag instead of feigning strength, and breath catches.

Another girl shares, open and raw. Hearts soften and hands reach across the table. Eyes become wet and burdens are spread from weary shoulders, lightening the load for all.

“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” – Galatians 6:2

I’m convicted and I see my pride that has stood in the way of connecting. I so wanted to have it together, but in doing so I’d nearly fallen apart. I need them, His agents of grace and love like rain. He weaves our hearts together through the baring of souls, and it’s breathtaking. My eyes blur with tears, too, and He is there in our midst, pouring His love into us by His Spirit working through one another. It’s beautiful, and I drink it in. Right there, in midst of overhead music, the distant whir of the espresso machine and soft chatter…the burdens lift, the rain pours down, and we are filled.

I love that my friend was brave enough to step out, humble herself, and break through the walls of pride that keep us silent. I’m sure it blessed her to share, but it blessed the rest of us more to share in her struggle.

Because, after all, how are we to bear one another’s burdens – to pour out and receive His love into dried hearts – if all we talk about is the weather?

I don’t want to just talk about the rain.

I want to dance in it, splash in it, drink it in, and be filled.

Are you lonely or dry and feeling the need for His rain? Your soul is welcome here…how can we pray for you?

Filed Under: Community, Encouragement, Friendships, Loneliness, Sisterhood, Sisters In Christ, Womanhood

Do our online friendships bring us closer to Jesus?

March 21, 2012 By Guest 11 Comments

The best friend any one of us can have is the one gal who always points us to Jesus.

Online friendships are so very unique. What might hinder us from being friends in the flesh – location, occupation, schedule, age, church affiliation – seems to hold little weight in online circles. Sometimes the most attractive trait in an online friendship boils down to one thing — availability.

Green Facebook squares or Skype clouds make for instant friends. But do they make for quality friends?

Are we so eager for camaraderie that we settle for whoever is online rather than seek out healthy friendships?

Do our online friendships bring us closer to Jesus?

Three years ago I befriended a missionary blogger after exchanging comments on each others’ blogs. Many months into our friendship my blog started to grow and went in a completely different direction than simply documenting family trips. I started hosting giveaways, reviewing books I didn’t even like for page views, and blog hopping.

My online friend questioned my motives. She wanted to know was I doing all this hoop jumping for Kingdom Glory or Stef Layton glory.

I was terribly offended because deep down in my heart I wanted to be a “big blogger” and I didn’t want to answer her question. I was doing what everyone else was doing online – I saw no problem. I responded to her emails in anger and then decided I wanted nothing to do with her. Immediately I deleted our connections.

I wanted to be friends with bloggers who were looking for growth. Blog growth not spiritual growth. Most of those friendships were shallow, depressing, and focused on making our names great – not making HIS NAME great. I believe there is a healthy balance to growing your blog and honoring God. It took me awhile to find it.

If we settle for quick and easy friendships just because someone is online at the same time … we will always end up longing for something deeper.

Do you bring your online friends closer to Jesus?

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Stef is a Word loving homeschool mom – nuts about her husband and 2 superheroes. More likely to get it wrong she requires tons of grace if you want to be friends. Stef blogs at Educating Laytons and created The Homeschool Village.

Filed Under: Friendships, Guest, Sisterhood, Sisters In Christ, Special Features

Calling All The Cheerleaders

March 12, 2012 By Stacey Thacker 9 Comments

This one is for you.

The encourager.
The one others come to for advice.
The girl who writes emails and loves to love others.

I know you.
You have a big heart.
You live LYLAS.
And you mean it.

But where do you go when your heart is in need?
When you are weary?
Who cheers for the cheerleader anyway?

You know what I think? It is time to huddle up.

Do you remember the huddle before the big game? The coach would call us to come together, we’d lean in close to listen, and then he would say that really important thing to get our heads into the game.

Well THE COACH wants us to huddle up. And this is what He wants us to know sister:

I am FOR you. How can we lose?

I –You know the God of the Universe who hung the stars in place and yet sees you sitting all alone in your chair each morning begging for strength?

For – is His way of saying He is over you, more than you, standing in your corner but also beyond you. Pretty much, He is all over the place cheering you on.

All that HE is, HE is FOR you.

So all you amazing cheerleaders out there, huddle up. Put your hand in, look around the circle, and let your eyes fix on what the Coach speaking right to your heart:

“So what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose?
Romans 8:31 the Message

Ready. Set. Believe it.

Now – who do you need to go encourage today with this message?

Calling all the cheerleaders. It is time to huddle up. The COACH has something He wants to say! —> Click here to tweet

Filed Under: Community, Encouragement, Sisters In Christ

A Beautiful Sisterhood

February 29, 2012 By Jessica Mueller 21 Comments

Wouldn’t it be lovely if the women of the church united as fierce, loyal sisters?

Where our common ground stood not in our denomination or preference for schooling, length of hem, or hermeneutics?

What if we gathered as sisters bond by loyalty and love to our “one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all” (Ephesians 4:6)? What if we listened to each other, truly listened with hearts of compassion, gentleness, and humility?

What if we set aside our pretenses and masks and stopped pretending everything is okay and we’ve got it all together? What if we encouraged others by sharing our dark moments, not just the sunshiny days?

What if we came along the hurting and doubting not with exhortations to “just believe,” but with prayers and grace? What if we not only spoke truth, but spoke truth in love?

What if we walked humbly, unashamedly in our gifts? Might we then see the body of Christ built up and properly working (Ephesians 4:11-12, 16)? What if we had a common goal so strong we left the devil with no chance for a foothold?

What would we be if we imitated God and not others? If we walked in love and laid our lives down like Jesus?

Can you imagine a sisterhood so strong?

So beautiful?

What if I challenged you to wipe the slate clean?

To forgive the past hurts caused by women, step out of your safe group, and lay down the protective shield.

There are generations of women waiting, just waiting for a friend, to be heard, to be seen, to be loved, to see Christ in the church around them.

What if we could revolutionize the world by how we relate to each other?

I believe we can, but it won’t be easy. There will be obstacles, pain, unforgiveness, fear, pride—but I believe that if Jesus called us to live in fellowship as one body, then we can.

I believe in this beautiful, broken sisterhood.

I believe in grace and unity,

I believe loving your enemy and forgiving the backstabber is completely in the realm of possibility.

I believe it is possible for the women of God to be truth-speakers, heart healers, merciful doers, and grace extenders.

I believe God has great things in store for His women if only we’d be willing to walk in bold, humble grace and set the course.

Are you with me?

******

As I look into my own life, I know this kind of sisterhood will be hard. It will require me to be vulnerable time and time again. It’ll ask me to overlook offenses—being forgotten, overlooked, and cast aside. It’ll bring me to places where I’ll have to extend myself in exhausting ways—it’s always easier to put on a smile than to reopen old wounds. It’ll ask me to trust God more than man. It will change me.

I really, truly believe if I’m brave enough to pull down my walls and offer open-handed, ask for nothing in return friendship, and live broken in God’s grace this sisterhood has a chance.

I’ve decided to make a pledge to my sisters in Christ as a way of saying I am committed to you and to walking in a way that shows I’m changing how I relate.

I’m opening the pledge to you. I want this to be real–online and, more importantly, off. I want a sisterhood I can touch and rely on in the day-to-day.

As a way to walk out this pledge practically and to grow in my own relationships, I’ll be blogging my way through this beautiful sisterhood the 1st and 3rd Thursday of the month and you’re more than welcome to join me.

Take the pledge here.

photo credit

Filed Under: Friendships, Sisterhood, Sisters In Christ

You Have Sisters!

February 21, 2012 By Jenny Yarbrough 22 Comments

Do you have a sister? I do. My sister and I were the only two children in our family. We had no other sisters or brothers. She was born just a little over three years after my birth. There are sweet photos of me holding her when she was just a baby, a smile a mile wide crossing my face. I was a proud sister, I was the older sister. As such, as we grew, I felt responsible for showing her the way things should be done, as most older sisters do. You should see the videos that we made. You should hear the cassette tape recordings. If you did you would likely hear me bossing her around, just like most older sisters do. I remember her screaming that she hated me more than once, and it reducing me to tears, my mom telling me that I was too sensitive. Maybe I was, maybe I wasn’t. What would you do if your only sister said that to you? Oh, and my mom was the younger of two sisters, which might explain that statement.

I am happy to tell you that young adulthood came and we became friends. I went away to college. She would call me. We would talk for such a long time, like we never had when I lived at home. When it was time for her to decide where to attend college, she followed me. I have been blessed by her witness throughout the last several years of our lives and have watched her become a beautiful bride and loving mother to two daughters of her own. She is a beautiful example of Christ’s work in a person’s life.

A sister is a funny thing. She can awaken your soul with her honesty. She can build you up with just a smile and an embrace. We all need a woman like that in our lives. Maybe you don’t have a biological sister, but let me assure you that you have sisters! This community will awaken your soul with the honest voice of each woman who contributes. It will build you up and encourage you. We will walk through this journey together and love one another as Christ has called us to do. We are family. We are daughters of the living King. We are sisters.

Filed Under: Sisterhood, Sisters In Christ

Unfriend, Unlike, and Unfollow? Oh My!

February 20, 2012 By Cherie Froelich 41 Comments

If you’ve participated in online life for very long, chances are you’ve had your feelings hurt. In some cases, you may have been on the flip side and caused some hurt feelings. But let’s be honest. This happens in our “real life” relationships as well.

So what makes it different when it happens online?

Unfortunately, it may happen more often than we think without us even realizing it. With so much communication happening through comments, texts, tweets, and status updates, we no longer have the ability to decipher sarcasm, body language, or facial expression. What we type that may be funny in our head may come across as rude or hurtful across the wires.

Recently I was teasing a friend through a conversation on twitter. My sense of humor often times is sarcastic, but without the inflection in my voice and smile on my face, the conversation came across to my friend as hurtful. Thankfully she was brave enough to email me and tell me that she had been hurt by my comments. I was mortified! I always try to encourage through the words I post online. I immediately responded back to her and begged her forgiveness.

I was lucky that my friend had the courage to call me out when I had hurt her. I was thankful because I certainly did not want to lose her as a friend! Many times we have a tendency to take those comments to heart, then we unfriend, unlike, unfollow, and too quickly write off that relationship, burning bridges in our wake.

What if we took a moment before hitting the delete button to offer grace? Maybe we could give the benefit of the doubt, knowing they most likely did not intend to offend.

But then, let’s also keep a close watch over our words, self-editing our comments with love and mercy, seeking to encourage, uplift, and applaud!

Sisters, let us not just be hearers of the Word, but doers of the Word:

“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up.”

I Thessalonians 5:11

Now let’s get out there and shine Jesus!