I’m not who I was.
Eight years ago, my life was very different than the one I live today. If you knew me back then, you knew a girl who was selfish, immature, careless. Oh sure, I was nice and fun, I had friends and busied myself with stuff. But there was no purpose to my moments other than to do whatever pleased me. Even though I knew about God and gave my life to Him as a teenager, I wasn’t living my life for Him. I’d heard the story of Jesus, but my prayers were only sent up on an as-needed basis, and truthfully, it was more like begging.
And then, about 8 years ago, I opened myself to a relationship and fell in love with the Lord. I read all about Him, learned all about His ways. I determined in my heart to live in a way pleasing to Him. And my life changed. I was changed.
I looked the same on the outside, yet my behaviors were different. I was still a nice and fun girl, maybe nicer? And my fun became the good, careful, guilt-free kind. I thought about myself less and of others more. The closer I got to Jesus, the more I learned to know and express forgiveness, hope, grace, and unconditional love. I want to serve Him and I want people to get a glimpse of Jesus when they see me.
My life is very different now. Jesus is in every moment of every day. My prayer life is an ongoing dialog and I’m constantly praising Him. My life is different because it is tethered to Jesus Christ and God, now and forever.
There are some people in my life, though, that refuse to accept the changed me. They see me now, acting in a manner that seems foreign. Because they knew the old me, maybe they think I’m faking this new life. They hear me speaking the truth or praying God’s Word, and they shrug, thinking this “trend” I’ve caught on to will eventually pass and I’ll be back to the Eryn they knew. But, thank God, I’m not going back to who I was. I’ve been set free by God’s amazing grace.
And it’s hard to explain. This is the Eryn they knew, only now she lives with purpose. Now she has a light on the inside, a promise. Now she has a grasp on what this life is all about. It’s still me!
I can’t avoid my friends and loved ones who are waiting for me to change back. And I certainly can’t run in circles trying to prove my new self. All I can do is continue to live this life for God, be my new self confidently, and be an example to those around me. Even if the new me is not accepted by the people who knew me before, I know it’s okay to be changed.
It’s okay to be changed. I am accepted by Jesus.





















