Change and Acceptance

 

I’m not who I was. 

Eight years ago, my life was very different than the one I live today. If you knew me back then, you knew a girl who was selfish, immature, careless. Oh sure, I was nice and fun, I had friends and busied myself with stuff. But there was no purpose to my moments other than to do whatever pleased me. Even though I knew about God and gave my life to Him as a teenager, I wasn’t living my life for Him. I’d heard the story of Jesus, but my prayers were only sent up on an as-needed basis, and truthfully, it was more like begging.

And then, about 8 years ago, I opened myself to a relationship and fell in love with the Lord. I read all about Him, learned all about His ways. I determined in my heart to live in a way pleasing to Him. And my life changed. I was changed. 
 
I looked the same on the outside, yet my behaviors were different. I was still a nice and fun girl, maybe nicer? And my fun became the good, careful, guilt-free kind. I thought about myself less and of others more. The closer I got to Jesus, the more I learned to know and express forgiveness, hope, grace, and unconditional love. I want to serve Him and I want people to get a glimpse of Jesus when they see me.

My life is very different now. Jesus is in every moment of every day. My prayer life is an ongoing dialog and I’m constantly praising Him. My life is different because it is tethered to Jesus Christ and God, now and forever.

There are some people in my life, though, that refuse to accept the changed me. They see me now, acting in a manner that seems foreign. Because they knew the old me, maybe they think I’m faking this new life. They hear me speaking the truth or praying God’s Word, and they shrug, thinking this “trend” I’ve caught on to will eventually pass and I’ll be back to the Eryn they knew. But, thank God, I’m not going back to who I was. I’ve been set free by God’s amazing grace.

And it’s hard to explain. This is the Eryn they knew, only now she lives with purpose. Now she has a light on the inside, a promise. Now she has a grasp on what this life is all about. It’s still me!

I can’t avoid my friends and loved ones who are waiting for me to change back. And I certainly can’t run in circles trying to prove my new self. All I can do is continue to live this life for God, be my new self confidently, and be an example to those around me. Even if the new me is not accepted by the people who knew me before, I know it’s okay to be changed.

It’s okay to be changed. I am accepted by Jesus.

You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. 
Ephesians 4:22-24 NIV
“God chose us to belong to Christ before the world was created. He chose us to be holy and without blame in his eyes. He loved us. So he decided long ago to adopt us as his children. He did it because of what Jesus Christ has done. It pleased God to do it. All those things bring praise to his glorious grace. God freely gave us his grace because of the One he loves.” 
Ephesians 1:1-6 NIRV 

April memories

“April showers bring May flowers.”

I remember learning that rhyme when I was a small girl.  Our class would practice saying the days of the week and the months of the year as well as a few of calendar-related ditties.  And since I was a bit of a smart-aleck, I remember feeling really clever when I learned the old riddle:

Q: “If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?”

A: Pilgrims!

 

As a kid I learned to look forward to May, when the sun would be shining brightly, the flowers would be blooming, and the school bell would be ringing for the last time.  The end of May brought the beginning of summer vacation, so May was golden.  April?  April was just a rainy month to be endured.

As it turns out, my teachers were trying to make me understand something much bigger than calendar terms and weather patterns.  They were trying to share a life lesson.  They wanted me to realize that without April there would be no May–no showers, no flowers.  I didn’t get it.

While I was busy learning poems and riddles, there was something else going on every spring, too; something I remember clearly: Easter.  So vividly I remember the smell of the Easter egg dye–little blocks of dried pigment mixed with water and vinegar.  I remember the taste of Peeps and chocolate-covered marshmallow eggs and my favorite malted-milk robin’s eggs.  I remember the thrill of having a brand new ensemble of finery to wear to church on Easter Sunday: dress, hat, patent-leather shoes, straw purse, and white gloves.

“It’s Resurrection Sunday,” some of the old men at our church would joke.  “The ‘dead’ Christians come back to life and make it to church once a year on Easter.”  We would sit primly in our new clothes, sing songs like “Up from the Grave He Arose,” and dash outside for the egg hunt.

Now I realize that, just as I didn’t understand the meaning of that little rhyme about April flowers, I didn’t really understand the Easter story, either.  Although I knew all the words to “When I Survey the Wondrous Cross,” I mostly thought of Easter as a day for wearing pretty dresses and eating candy.

It’s been a long time since I was a little girl in my Easter bonnet and white gloves.  Now, of course, I understand the meaning of the Easter story.  I realize that the joyous Resurrection required that Jesus had to die.  I never think of Easter as just a day for wearing a pretty dress and eating candy.  Right?

Right??

Oh, dear God, help me.  I’m still such a child sometimes.  I forget.  I can get so wrapped up in preparing Easter baskets for my kids and baking a ham and decorating my house that I forget that without the crucifixion there would be no resurrection.

So this April, I’m trying to remember.  Oh, I’m still decorating and baking.  But I’m trying to get it.

“He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.  And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him; He was despised, and we did not esteem Him.  Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed Him stricken, smitten by God and afflicted.  But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; and by His stripes we are healed.”  (Isaiah 53: 3-5, NKJV)

How about you?  Will you join me in remembering?

By His Stripes…

Do you realize it was some two thousand odd years ago that Jesus Christ suffered the crucifixion on the cross at Calvary?  Today is Good Friday, and this is a very important day for mankind.  I would say for “Christians” but Jesus died for ALL mankind.  At that time, there were no “Christians” and his approach to the cross was for all humanity.  I think sometimes we, as in mankind, forget the utter magnitude of what happened on that day many years ago.

cross of Jesus

Jesus was a human being, just like you and I.  He was not a superman; he did not have any powers we do not have.  What he did have was the ability to resist sin.  He walked blameless his entire life on earth.  He proved it by doing it.

Before Jesus came to be born, the only way man could approach God was through animal sacrifices.  Moreover, common man was not allowed anywhere near the altar.  Only those consecrated and carrying the sacrifices could approach the altar.  It was very tough for man to be near God during that time.  The laws dictated the sacrifices, and because of man’s sinful nature, those had to happen a lot.  God looked on man and had pity.  He offered a way out.

He, God Himself, became a human being.  He was born, just as you and I were born.  He walked the earth, tempted in the same ways we are tempted.  (Well, He may not have been tempted to play on the Xbox instead of building homes, but He had temptations of that day and time.)  He went to the wilderness for 40 days and 40 nights with no food and water.  (How long can we go without that?)  Satan was there, tempting him, with food, water and a promise to rule the earth.  Jesus held true, resisted, overcame, and emerged victorious.

On that day, when the Roman soldiers grabbed Jesus, He willingly submitted to it.  They tortured him, beyond what He deserved.  Yet, he willingly did it.  He took our place.  They flogged Him, beat Him, they plucked His beard from His face.  They spit on him they called Him names.  At any point during this, He could have called Heaven down on His behalf, yet He did not.  He took it.  Then, when that was over, they laid the heavy wood cross on His shoulder, to which He had to parade through the streets, with His face bleeding, his head bleeding from the crown of thorns; He walked to the place where they nailed him to the cross.  NAILED Him, His feet and hands to that cross.

Have you ever hit your hand with a hammer?

  It hurts, bad.  He had nails drove in, not just little nails, but huge spike nails, big enough to hold him to the cross.  He never called for rescue He took it.  He submitted, in our place.  He took on our transgressions He paid the ultimate price.

Even while dying on the cross, He was showing mercy.  He forgave the thief on the cross next to Him, promising the thief that he would be in paradise with Him.  He even forgave those who were torturing Him, while He was in agony.

Do you realize that God had to turn away from His beloved son at the moment of death?  This is because with God watching, He would not die.  At that moment, all the sins of mankind were placed on Jesus.  It was at this point that Jesus cried out to His Father, “Why have you forsaken me.”  However, He did not ask for vengeance.  He did not say to stop.  He knew at that moment, God had to turn, so He could die.  And indeed, He died.

At that moment, the veil to the altar split in two.  Do you know what that means?  That means the veil parted, there is no separation from God!  Jesus went into Hell, to capture back the souls there, to give them the chance to believe in Him, and on that Glorious day – He rose from the dead!  He WON!  WE WON!  He came back, He brought with Him healing, grace, and mercy, and He opens His arms to us, offering these gifts.  We do not have to sacrifice we are not damned.  He paid the price for us.  He redeemed us.  All we have to do is call Him Lord and Savior, make him the Lord of our lives.

Now that is something to celebrate.

Next time you hear “by His strips I am healed” or set free or made whole, know those aren’t flippant words.  They are words with power, of a man who took on the strips of our iniquities, every sin, every illness, every bad thing, and redeemed us.  Paid the price.

Do you know that when we see Jesus again, those scars on his hands and feet will shine bright, as they are the most precious marks, which set us free!

Like Broken Boards and Shattered Glass

I drive by this old house on our way to church, often wondering what kind of stories were once lived out within its now crumbling walls.  How many feet walked upon those broken floorboards when they were still smooth and gleaming with self-assurance?

Time has revealed the short-lived stability of a structure that long ago stood proud in it’s young strength and beauty.  But years of declension required the county to take possession of that home.  It was unfit to live in and beyond repair and scheduled to be condemned.

I wonder how many hours were spent trying to rehabilitate the dilapidated building…surely there was a long, ever-increasing list of needed repairs.

A bit like my soul I’m afraid, worn down by this sinful nature. There was a time in my life when my nature didn’t look so bad to me.  I was a “good girl” full of self-assurance, proud of the strength and beauty of youth.  I didn’t understand sin.  I thought it was something I could keep under control.  Just repair it, check it off the list, and move on to the next improvement.

But I didn’t see the faulty wiring hidden behind the plaster and paint.  I didn’t notice the cracks in the old foundation that caused unbalanced walls to lose their strength.  I didn’t know there was mold trying to gain access to every hidden space within this life.    

” … it is sin living in me.”  Romans 7:17

The damage eventually became visible to me, but no matter how many repairs I checked off the list in an attempt to maintain, the deterioration continued.  I could not carry out this job on my own.

“I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.”  Romans 7:18

Time reveals that the effects of sin eventually lead to a life that is beyond repair.

“What a wretched (wo)man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?”  Romans 7:24

Self-help and step-programs are only sufficient for a life of short-lived stability.  What we really need is to hand over this dilapidated life of sin to be condemned, and move in to a better life, beautifully created upon a solid new foundation.

“Thanks be to God–through Jesus Christ our Lord!”  Romans 7:25  

“… he condemned sin in sinful man.”  Romans 8:3                             

Condemned.  Just like that building that was beyond repair and taken over by the county to be destroyed because it was unfit to live in, He took possession of our irreparable sin and destroyed it upon the cross.

“I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.”  Galatians 2:20

The written repair list and continuous effort were powerless against the inevitable.

“…a man is not justified by the works of the law but by faith in Jesus Christ” Galatians 2:16

“For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son.”  Romans 8:3

His Son came to give us a new life, built upon a solid foundation.

“I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.”   John 10:10

“For no other foundation can anyone lay than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ.”1 Corinthians 3:11

I do believe that old house along the road we see on our way to church lingers in it’s final stages as a reminder to me from a gracious and compassionate God who loves me.  A reminder to flee from the life of sin, to flee from the broken boards and shattered glass as they come crashing down, by the power of His mighty hand.

Stacy

 

I’m a wife of 15 years and a mom of 5 boys ages 7 to 17, welcomed into my heart through marriage, birth, and adoption. I walk daily in God’s grace, desperately clinging to His Word as I home-school, home-make, and seek to grow in Christ.  I blog at Daily Surrender to Jesus.

Deeply Rooted…

“Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong.” ~ Ephesians 3:17 (NLT)

Third row from the left, second seat back.  That’s where I parked myself during speech class, a one hundred level class I took as an elective in college.  It seemed easy enough.  You go, you talk, you pass.  Right?  I figured I’d be challenged, but how difficult could it really be?

As expected, the class proved challenging but enjoyable.  Many of the techniques, tools and skills learned still help me even now when speaking publicly.  It was certainly worth my time.

What I didn’t expect, however, was a challenge I received early in the semester.

My professor, a fun-loving leftist, thought it fun to toy with me, a freshman rightist.  He enjoyed stories of my rural upbringing, loved hearing my “backwoods” speech and couldn’t believe anyone thought as innocently as I did.  Our banter was fun, but soon took a turn which knocked me for a loop.

Our assignment for this particular speech had religious overtones.  We could take it any way we liked, but we must be able to defend our content.  I confidently wrote my speech, believing it to its core.  After presenting, I took my seat, poised and ready to defend.

He looked at me and smiled.  At that point, things took a turn.

Kindly, yet straight-forwardly, he began asking questions.  One after another after another.  Surprisingly, I couldn’t offer any support or defense other than, “Well, I think…” or “Well, I believe…”  In turn, he’d ask “Why do you think?” or “Why do you believe?”  I sat stunned.  I really didn’t know.  All I could offer were platitudes and cliches, what I grew up hearing or what I remembered from Sunday school lessons.  I had no solid biblical defense to submit.  For the first time, I had no idea why I believed what I believed.

Unfortunately, my astonishment didn’t propel me deep into His word, neither did my disappointment push me closer to him.  Instead, I sang a little louder, attended a few more church functions and volunteered more than usual.  Life was surface.  My root system was non-existent because no relationship existed between my Creator and me.

As a result, I was at the mercy of life’s wind.

A search began.  My search began.

It took a few years, but I finally found what I was looking for.

No wait!  Rephrase…

It took a few years, but I finally found WHO I was looking for.

The moment I met him, my Creator, my Savior, the wind ceased and the roots appeared.

As I read and committed his word to memory, my roots deepened.

As I faithfully talked to him, seeking him INTENTIONALLY, my roots deepened.

As I worshiped him, singing his praises, my roots deepened.

As I shared him with friends, family and acquaintances, my roots deepened.

As I called upon him, receiving answer after answer, my roots deepened.

No longer does the wind of life toss me to and fro.

No longer do I leave life to chance.

No longer am I ignorant of his word.

My root system, nourished by him and him alone, is stronger and deeper.  Even when the winds of life sweep through, I may lean a little, but my roots keep be grounded.

How about you…

Have you met the One who gives life?  If so, are your roots still close to the surface or have they grown deep into the ground, providing you with a firm and sturdy foundation?

He’s waiting for you…

You Are His Beloved

Sweet sisters, do you know how much you are loved?


“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this:
While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
(Romans 5:8 NIV, emphasis added)

 

Did you catch that?  Jesus died to save us while we were still sinners, before we even knew Him.  We don’t have to get cleaned up, overcome every bad habit, or have a perfect life before God will love us.  We don’t have to meet a quota or be “good enough” to receive His love.  His love is a free gift.  He loves us because we are His daughters, created in His image to do good things.

 

Sometimes I wonder how our lives would look if we really grasped this truth, if we chose to cling to His love and let it change us.  Jesus longs for you to see the truth of His love and shower you with His grace.  You (yes, you!), just as you are, right where you are.

 

The weary one with spit-up on her shoulder and stretch marks on her hips
He calls you beautiful, inside and out

The heartsick one who longs to hold a child in her arms
He calls you His beloved, the apple of His eye

The persevering one, now raising her children’s children
He will strengthen and encourage you

The lonely one trading her innocence to feel wanted
He cherishes you, His precious daughter

The anxious one who lives in fear of her tomorrows
He is your stronghold and defender

The deceived one caught in the snare of the enemy’s lies
He is the Truth that will set you free

The wounded one running hard from the memory of her abuser
He will be your refuge and protector

The devastated one learning her body is failing her too soon
He will be your rock and comforter

The grieving one who walks a path filled with sorrow
He will uphold you and set your feet on solid ground

The burdened one on her knees, interceding for those she loves
He is the attentive God who hears you

 

Sisters, I don’t know your circumstances, your past or the desires of your heart - but God doesYou are His beloved, and He will be faithful to meet all your needs.

 

“…that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.
And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love,
may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp
how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,
and to know this love that surpasses knowledge —that you
may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”
(Ephesians 3:17-19, NIV)

 

~  ~  ~  ~  ~

 
I’m so glad you’re blooming with us!

I pray you’ll find joy and community, encouragement and inspiration, common ground and shared faith here.  Most of all, I pray you’ll find a deep sense of your worth in Christ, and support to cheer you on as you follow Him.

Your sister in Christ,
Jana

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