There it was. A small sealed post card in the middle of the mail – underneath the pizza flier and between a couple bills – a white card, with my husbands name carefully written in pen on the front and the cancer center’s address on the upper left corner.
It was the reminder card.
I hate that card when it comes. Or at least I used to hate it. I know, I know, I used the word hate, the word I tell my kids to never really ever use, and here, on Sisters in Bloom I just spit out the word hate. But, you see, I really, really don’t like cancer, and in fact, I actually, honestly, hate it.
It was six years ago when my husband was diagnosed with cancer. We only had five kids then, and our then youngest, Caleb, was just a three month old baby. In those dark days and months I began to learn to seek the Lord in a way that I’ve never sought Him before. In that place of deep need I began to really understand the words — Blessed be Your Name — especially in those desert places of life. Cancer is a desert. But, sisters, in that desert I did find life, hope, strength, and growth.
You see, cancer may have tried to rob years of our life, but it was in those years I learned to fight. To get up when I had no energy to get going. To fall at the feet of the Lord in surrender. To learn to receive. To humble myself. To encourage. To believe. To have faith. To cherish the small things in life. To seek joy. To never take for granted a day. To say I love yous. To seek information. To pray boldly. To praise in all times. To cry. To really live. To not be afraid. To speak to others. To be real. To be. To praise when the world was so hard. To grow. To bloom in place that seemed so desolate.
Cancer is a journey, that Lord willing, I don’t want to ever walk again. For those of you walking it — I hate it with you. But, I will tell you, cancer did not steal our family of joy. It was now, in the early spring six years ago where we heard the words, treatment is done now go live life. Live life. Not in fear, not in worry, not with anxiety, not in thinking about the cancer every single day — even knowing we have to constantly monitor his cancer to make sure it doesn’t return — but live life in joy and utmost appreciation for today.
Sisters, today, today is a gift. I know that there are some of you reading right now who might feel lack of hope, or are in a terribly challenging place, or are hurting, and for that I am sorry. I will pray for you, and as I prayed for myself years ago, I will pray for joy in the midst of challenge. And I also know that some of you are content today and things are going well, and for that I rejoice and I pray also for you. You see, my prayer for you no matter what, my Sisters in Bloom, is that where ever you may be that you are given glimpses of joy, peace and hope in your everyday life.
That reminder card? I now look at it as a reminder to seek, to look, to reflect, to be grateful for the joy moments in life, and to remember those years of blooming in the desert.
